The short answer: a lot. And I’m not joking, a least when it comes to the original way it was celebrated.
We often associate Valentine’s Day with St. Valentine, which on the surface sounds quite reasonable. But there is a huge disconnect between this saint and what we typically associate with Valentine’s Day, that is, romantic dates, cards, candy, kissing, and, well, you get the idea.
To begin with, it’s actually difficult to know who St. Valentine was. One tradition describes him as a Roman priest martyred under Emperor Claudius. Another locates him in Terni as the bishop. But their stories are mostly legend, and there’s nothing really lovey-dovey about either of these characters, at all.
So how did St. Valentine’s day get associated with erotic love? Well, that’s where things gets interesting.
Between February 13-15th ancient Romans celebrated a pagan festival to the god Lupercus (known as Lupercalia). As with all Roman gods, this one was stolen from the Greeks and is associated with Pan, the creepy guy with goat feet and a human torso who played the flute and chased naked girls around known as nymphs.
Lupercus was the god of shepherds, and his priests wore goatskins (and little else). According to the Roman historian Plutarch, on the ides of February the noblemen in town stripped mostly naked and ran around the city laughing and cavorting. Noblewomen joined in the fun by purposely getting in the way of the streakers, not to obstruct them, but–get this—to be struck by them with “shaggy thongs.”
Now, just in case your mind is getting a little too creative here, a thong is not an undergarment but a strip cut from the skins of the sacrificed goats called a februa, from which we get the term February (you’ll never think of the month in the same way, now).
Thus we are essentially talking about a whipping, or a spanking, depending upon your preference. This may sound a little kinky, but apparently they believed that this helped barren women to get pregnant, and pregnant women to have an easy delivery. Obviously they didn’t know much about biology, but they did know how to have fun.
Believe it or not, even “uninhibited Christians” joined in the revelry, perhaps even clergymen. And the church essentially turned a blind eye to it, even though it had connections to paganism.
However, in the 5th century Gelasius I, bishop of Rome, decided that the revelry was getting out of hand. He attacked the holiday, not because of the masochism that seems to be implied, but because the festival had been “cheapened, carried out no longer by honoured noblemen but by low-born persons hired for the occasion: devalued by its very supporters….” (The End of Ancient Christianity, p. 132). In other words, it’s virtuous for the 1% to go commando and paddle consenting women, but apparently it’s a sin if the 99% attempt it.
Gelasisus’s efforts prevailed, and the holiday, as it was originally practiced, died out. But then in the 19th century, Valentine’s Day got resurrected, albeit in a form far more Victorian, which is why every year at this time you are expected to do something romantic for your sweetie.
But if you’re a purist (and I know some of you are) then along with the dinner, card and candy must come a spanking.
Preferably with a shaggy thong.
Hahaha!! I am laughing out loud – and am quite speechless to provide a good response to this! Maybe after some thought!
University Mother: What did you learn from your university chaplain today, sweetie?
Student: That Valentine’s Day isn’t proper without a shaggy thong and a whipping or spanking, your preference.
Mother: That sounds about right. I think I would prefer the spanking over the whipping.
Student: Mother!
See. I’m doing my job. You learned something new about your mother:)
Ha HA I agree with Cinda that I do not quite know how to respond. I feel much like I did in American Christianity class when learning about one of Christianities first arguments… I love finding humor in the things that are supposed to be super serious.
[...] If you want to read something funny about the history behind the holiday, read this article titled “What Does Spanking Have to do with Valentine’s Day?” by one of my favorite professors at HSU and a church historian, Kelly Pigott. It’s hilarious [...]
So, I wonder . . . I have this book by Robert J. Morgan titled “On This Day in Christian History”. Some of the things I read, I am just not sure I believe them. On February 14th, he told the story of a priest in Rome named Valentine who was imprisoned. He became friends with the jailer’s daughter and being deprived of books, he amused himself by cutting shapes in paper and writing notes to her. He was beheaded on February 14, 496. Any thoughts on this story?
It’s legend. Though as with many legends, there could very well be a kernel of truth. The most popular story about St. Valentine is that he restored sight to a young girl but that he was martyred in the third century. I’ve not read anything about cutting shapes in paper. Paper didn’t even exist at this time. They used papyrus or wax tablets. And 496 is really late for a martyr. Christianity was the official religion of the empire, so who would behead him?
Good to know – I think I’ll use this book for cutting shapes out of the pages . . .
I did not know that Valentine’s Day had anything to do with spanking! This was really neat to learn about!
well that was very interesting! Also, Pan reminds me of the character in Hercules! So it all makes since now haha!
The truth is stranger than fiction. Wow.
Fantastic…Who is up for reviving the old ways of celebrating?… I thought I saw some shaggy thongs at United for 7.99
I love history! It is always entertaining! I was aware of the fact that we did not know who Saint Valentine might be, but I was unsure where the holiday came from! Those silly Romans! They could not have a single festival without somebody getting naked and running through the streets! Or, without using fertility and child birth to get away with doing all sorts of stuff to women!
This was very interesting! I had never even thought to look at why we actually celebrate Valentine’s Day, and I found it funny while reading it the way we celebrate the holiday today after knowing how it started.
I feel bad for the women back in those days.
I will never view valentines day the same way. I’m glad that this isn’t customary practice nowadays!
Haha!!! This was a really funny blog. I think it is interesting how the church always seems to either completely shun rituals like these or turn a blind eye. I definately don’t see “Februa”ry the same anymore.
WOW! You keep blowing my mind..I will never think of Valentines day the same.
Very interesting! It also makes me wonder if people know the real reason of Valentine’s Day and what they are celebrating. The origination of this holiday has definitely evolved into a whole new meaning from then to now.
I dont see why it was the “thing to do” do run around the city naked, and let people slap you with goat skins… But whatever floats your boat I guess. It’s interesting that that is where we get February from. Ill never forget that now! Things like this make me glad that times have changed!
Never will Valentine’s Day have the same meaning to me. That is just hilarious.
I think this is interesting and it really shows how society can warp tradition. It makes me wonder if holidays are going to be celebrated in the same way hundreds of years from now.
This is extremely eye-opening for me. I had no idea Valentines day came from all of the masochists of the past. It is more schocking to learn the Church let it slide for quite sometime. However, I am glad we have brought the tradition back in a mild and reduced form.